Sunday 20 March 2011

Matthew 4 – Sitting in darkness


4:16 The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.

“I knew such a man,” says Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:3.  And I knew a man like that too.  A man who “sat in darkness”.  A man who spent most of his waking hours sitting in darkness, and all of his sleeping hours lying in the same.

Let’s call him Roy.

Before sunrise, Roy sat in traffic for 35 minutes during his daily commute to the office.  On arriving, Roy went quickly to his cubicle, switched on his computer, and sat at his desk for 3 hours 55 minutes.

At 12:30, Roy broke for a 30 minute lunch (of cheese and pickle sandwiches) which he took sitting at his desk.  After lunch, Roy sat at his desk for a further 3 hours 55 minutes, before finally sitting in traffic for 35 minutes more during his daily commute back home in the dwindling daylight.

And if you’re wondering what Roy did in the only 10 minutes of his 8 hour working day that appear to be unaccounted for, let’s just say he probably spent at least part of it sitting in the office men’s room.

There were windows in Roy’s office, but by strict order of management, the blinds were to stay permanently shut.  At the end of the day, it all comes down to basic health and safety.  You’ve probably not seen what the sun can do to an unprotected monitor screen – the glare is simply murder on your eyes!

So the view from Roy’s seat, over the rim of his cubicle’s partitioning walls, was of an emergency exit sign (consisting of a picture of a running man, a green arrow and an open door), and the office clock (which always ran five minutes slow – for some reason).

The office’s fluorescent lights were always on the blink – quite literally.  Maybe you’ve not seen what a fluorescent tube does when it’s about to fail – the way it starts to flicker, to flash, to blink – it can drive you nuts!

Roy was the most patient of men, but even he had his limits.  And a blinking tube above his cubicle was where he drew the line!  Roy was not the most daring of men, but a “faulty fluorescent” was enough to get him balancing precariously, on one leg, high above his desk, reaching on tiptoes for the offending tube.

And so tubes were frequently removed, but although the proper paperwork was always diligently submitted, in triplicate, to Admin, tubes were rarely, if ever, replaced.

And slowly but surely, year by year, the office grew darker and darker.

And twenty years passed by, like a half-remembered dream.  And the darkness, slowly but surely, year by year, resolved itself into the inexorably approaching “shadow of death” – and the deeper, darker shadow of a life unlived.

Then, one bleak and starless night, Roy had a dream.

In his dream, he was surrounded by total darkness.  He felt himself to be sitting cross-legged on a smooth, hard surface of some kind – but it’s difficult to be sure of anything when it’s too dark to see your own hand in front of your face!  He felt as though he’d been sitting there forever – but in the dark, a minute could be an hour, and an hour could be a lifetime.

Then, suddenly, a pin-prick of light.

And the pin-prick grew – slowly at first, then faster and faster, growing brighter and brighter, till his whole world seemed to be filled with overwhelming, all-consuming light.

Roy screwed his eyes shut, in a futile attempt to block out the light, to bring back the darkness.  And then, just when he thought he could stand it no more...

As suddenly as it had come, the light was gone.

Swirls and splashes of colour popped like bubbles in front of Roy’s eyes, as his overloaded retinas vainly struggled to keep up.  Then, Roy noticed that one particular formless mass of mauve splodges was no longer quite so formless anymore.  Even as he watched, the splodges were merging, coalescing, taking on the form of...

Words...

Nothing is wasted
Nothing is lost
Nothing falls by the wayside
If it is bound up in me

Nothing is pointless
Nothing is meaningless
Nothing is worthless
If it is bound up in me

Everything that is bound up in me is
Eternally significant
Inconceivably important
Unimaginably precious

Live
And move
And have your being
In me

And every empty moment
Every fruitless action
Will be ripe with value
And purpose

Walk
In the light
As I am
In the light

And every dull grey moment
Every obscure action
Will be just another means
Of stepping into the light

The first light of morning found Roy sitting in traffic.  He sat at the wheel for 35 minutes till the commuter tide washed him up at the office.  Then he sat at his desk for a further 3 hours 55 minutes, before breaking for a 30 minute lunch, which he took sitting at his desk.

It was just another day at the office.  Just like thousands before it, and thousands more to come.

And yet, if you happened to look very closely, you couldn’t help but notice an odd quivering of Roy’s lips.  And, what’s more, if you happened to have any sort of talent for reading lips, you couldn’t help but notice that he was muttering something, softly, under his breath, over and over again...

Make it a means.  Make it a means.  Make it a means...